Beiträge von Raumplaner

  • Witze erzählen!

    Zitat von gandalf

    ich fasses dir zusammen:mrgreen:

    Tommy mit Struß inne Kneipe, immer passendes Wecheselgeld, Wirt warum, er 2 Wünsche, 1. immer passendes Geld inner Tasche, 2. Frau mit langen beinen, die gehorcht :winke:

    Tätä tätä tätääää:mrgreen:



    manche Witze funktionieren eben nur auf englisch :winke:

    so wie der hier (war schonmal im laber-thread aber egal):

    Last Day on the Job
    It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

    When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

    At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

    The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

    She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

    When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

    When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

    As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

    "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

    He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."

    The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."


    hier gibt's noch einen auf englisch -Die 10 besten Gründe nicht zu joggen : Sports Jokes : 10 Reasons Not To Jog

  • Urlaubsf***gelaber!

    den kann ich wohl nicht bei den witzen posten - deshalb hier:

    Last Day on the Job
    It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

    When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

    At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

    The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

    She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

    When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

    When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

    As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

    "Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

    He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."

    The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

  • Witze erzählen!

    A Chick With Long Legs

    A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.

    The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich.
    The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.

    The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

    This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.

    The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

    "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there."

    "That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!""That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

    "That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ... Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"

    The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs who does what i say."

  • Witze erzählen!

    Zitat von SoloStyler

    Die Leute in Dortmund werden nicht nur schöner,sie werden intelligenter, humorvoller und geschickter sein. Sie werden sehr gesellig, fleißig und leistungsfähig sein." Petrus ist zutiefst beeindruckt, fragt Gott jedoch: "Aber was ist mit dem Gleichgewicht? Du hast doch gesagt, überall wird Gleichgewicht sein!" "Mach Dir mal keine Sorgen", sagt Gott, " ...nebenan ist Gelsenkirchen !!!



    :gruebel: hmm... fühle ich mich gerade angesprochen? Nee, im Ernst, das wüsste ich aber wenn es so wäre ;) :mrgreen:

  • Urlaubsf***gelaber!

    Zitat von denis1991

    Mods, das geht jetzt zu weit :mad:
    Caro: Die Mods können sehen wer wem eine PN schreibt. Daran sehen sie schnell das ich sowas nicht gemacht habe :winke:



    ach denis :huebscher: - bekommst bestimmt ne offiziellen Brief an deine Elteren, dass du dswas NIEMALS machen würdest :mrgreen:

    @mods: scheckt mal bitte die IP - würd schon gerne wissen wer's ist

  • [S] EM Tickets

    Zitat von Caroline 81

    immer diese kapitalisten. es gibt auch ideelle werte. vielleicht ist einem ein ligapokal endspiel zwischen dem ksc und bayer leverkusen mehr wert als ein em finale zwischen frankreich und england. stell diir vor? wo würdest du als ksc fan lieber sein?



    Denis: spar dir den Kommentar bitte :mrgreen: edit: zu spät